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BLOG: If William Shakespeare wrote an Apple rumor blog

John Cox | Jan. 6, 2012
Let's face it: The state of iPhone and iPad rumors is parlous, petty and paltry, where bad writing and punditry drives out the good.

Let's face it: The state of iPhone and iPad rumors is parlous, petty and paltry, where bad writing and punditry drives out the good.

But perhaps one of the world's greatest playwrights can show us to way to rejuvenated, rousing, robust rumoring.

We surf to www.iOSandRumoriet.com ...

Is this an iPad III which I see before me? 

posted by MacBeth Jan. 3, 2012 "Macbeth," Act 2, Scene 1

Is this an iPad III which I see before me, the bezel toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee!

I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou not, favorite vision, sensible to feeling as to sight? Or art thou but a tablet of the mind, a false creation, proceeding from the rumor-oppressed brain?

I see thee yet, in form as palpable as this which now I five-finger swipe. Thou marshall'st me the way that I was going; and such an instrument I long to use. I see thee still, and on thy high-res display gouts of pixels, which was not so before.

There's no such thing! It is the hysterical hype which informs thus to mine eyes.

Now o'er the one halfworld innovation seems dead, and wicked rumors abuse the curtain'd sleep. Witchcraft celebrates Pale Google's offerings, and wither'd Android, alarum'd by his sentinel, the open source, whose howl's his watchword, thus with his stealthy pace. With Ballmer's ravishing strides, towards his design moves like a ghost.

Thou sure and firm-set digital sensors, mark not my steps, which way they walk, for fear thy very GPS data prate of my whereabout, and show my present horror, mere dual-core computing on iPad II.

Whiles I importune, Apple tarries: words to the heat of deeds too cold breath gives. From my iPhone, a voice assistant sounds, while iPad III is mute. Siri invites me. Hear it not, Apple! For it is a knell that summons thee to heaven or to hell.

Wait no more on iPhone V. But on second thought ...

Posted by hamletthedane Nov. 1, 2011 "Hamlet," Act 3, Scene 1

To wait, or not to wait -- that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the delay of iPhone 5 by outrageous Apple or to take stock of a sea of Androids and by selecting end it.

To reject, to choose, and by a choice to say we end the heartache and the thousand natural shocks that fanboy flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

To choose Android ... to access Android Market: ay, there's the rub! For in that market of dearth what apps may come when we have shuffled off this iTunes coil must give us pause. There's the respect that makes calamity of other platforms.

 

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