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The Floppening, Part VIII: This time, Apple Watch is really a flop

The Macalope | Aug. 14, 2015
Get out your Apple Watch Flop bingo cards because it's time to fill in another square. This time the one that says "Flop." (They all say "flop.")

Get out your Apple Watch Flop bingo cards because it's time to fill in another square. This time the one that says "Flop." (They all say "flop.")

Writing for Canada's Globe and Mail, Shane Dingman is here (well, in Canada) to tell us "Why the Apple Watch just isn't ready yet" (tip o' the antlers to Pat Trivedi).

The Apple Watch is a flop, and nobody seems to want to admit it.

Nobody?! What tech coverage are you reading? The Macalope refers you to hiscollectedworks, which are virtually overflowing with people who have said it's a flop based on their personal opinions and very little else. Surely Dingman is not going to do the same th-OW, THE MACALOPE'S RHETORICAL BONE.

I don't recommend buying one for a multitude of reasons under the same theme: It's just not ready.

I don't like the Watch, so it is therefore a flop. QED.

Well, as long as we're pulling out and measuring anecdotes, the Macalope does like his. So. Here we are. Welcome to Impasse Gulch, population: you.

Also, there's at least some indication other people like it, too. That's certainly not worth mentioning, though. Why even bring that up? Pointless. At least Dingman didn't waste any time on that.

The Globe and Mail wasn't one of the chosen outlets to review the Apple Watch before it went on sale to consumers...

Some people work in clay, others acrylics, some in ink. The Globe and Mail apparently works in butthurt. Their double truck devoted to Ms. Gladys Pemberton of Mississauga cancelling her subscription was recognized by the North American Butthurt Society for "critical advancement in the area of butthurt culture."

Apple has a long history of first-generation devices that promise more than they deliver.

¯\_(Ä)_/¯

Apple's last earnings report showed worrying signs that Watch is not taking off.

Apple wouldn't even tell us how many they shipped! Which they said they weren't going to do back in October! So, clearly, they're hiding something!

...but the Watch-as-fitness-band has a few major drawbacks: It is heavy...

It is perfectly comparable to the kinds of watches the Macalope has worn for years while exercising. That is to say, it weighs as much as a watch does. If that's too heavy for you, maybe you didn't want to wear a watch while exercising in the first place. Which leads one to wonder why you're considering a watch as an exercise tracker.

People, try to have an idea of what are deal-breakers for you before you run out and buy a device that any reasonable person would recognize beforehand would break all your particular deals. The Macalope can't stress that enough.

 

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