No two people are exactly alike, but people do they do share traits - and those traits aren't always positive. Some prefer drama or negative attention. They are everywhere, including the workplace. They might be on your team or sit in a nearby cubicle. It could be your boss, a vendor, direct report or a coworker. They're combative, critical or nonproductive.
Unless you are very lucky, some probably work with you. You aren't likely to change them, so the best you can do is come up with a plan to mitigate the misery. We spoke with IT leaders as well as a mental healthcare professional to find out the best strategy to help reduce the drama and negativity in your work day.
Don't label people, label behaviors
There is a danger in labeling people as toxic, according to Pamela D. Garcy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, career coach and author of the book, "How to make time when you don't have any: A new approach to reclaiming your schedule." Instead she recommends labeling the negative or toxic behavior. That's not to say that it isn't an employee's responsibility to behave well, but first you should return power to yourself, she says.
Understanding the behavior will help you identify the root of the problem and will likely help you build a strategy for having a more productive relationship with the person, whether it's your boss, a co-worker or a direct report. "Labeling and rating people limits you. You cannot see the potential in front of you because you're blinded by the label. Label the behavior instead of the person, if possible -- even if only as a mental exercise," says Garcy.
Are you part of the problem or solution?
It's easy to say it's all the other person's fault, but there are two sides to every coin. Are you contributing to the toxic behavior? Do you let this person's toxic behavior upset or frustrate you? Are you being pulled into the downward emotional spiral? More importantly what can you do to prevent this from happening?
"Be introspective. How are you contributing to the undesired behaviors and what is within your control to improve the situation," says Dustin Wells, chairman & CEO of Headspring, a provider of enterprise software strategies and development. The bottom-line is don't let your action or inaction add make a bad situation worse.
Change your perspective
Some things are out of your control. Chances are you aren't going to change this person, so your best bet is to focus on what you can control. That requires a change in perspective. Without the right perspective, warns Pamela Rucker, chair of the Technology Advisory Council for St. Jude Research Hospital and chair for the CIO Executive Council's Women in Leadership board, every issue may feel like a personal affront.
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