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Oscar Mayer promises bacon alarm clock, world loses its mind

Philip Michaels | March 10, 2014
I don't think it is a stretch of the imagination to say that we, as a country, are bacon-crazy. We use it as a dessert topping. We use them in lieu of roses. We have assigned talismanic powers to a certain actor doubtlessly because he has the last name "Bacon" and not a more conventional surname like "Smith" or "Davis" or "Breakfast Sausage."

I'm sorry if this all sounds too cynical, but this week, I was promised a hoverboard and that turned out to be a filthy lie. You'll forgive me if I'm skeptical of the promise of bacon-scented alarm clocks for the masses.

But rather than end on that dour note, let us simply join together and contemplate the mysteries of bacon.

 

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