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The Macalope Weekly: Talk is cheap

The Macalope | April 22, 2013
Our fine friends in Redmond (disclosure: not fine, not friends) are back spreading what they spread best. Joy? Jam? Nope: manure, of course. Dan Lyons then tells us exactly why everything he wrote was eye-pokingly bad (no spoilers, read on for the exciting reveal!) and last, but possibly least, CNN shows us how to sift bad Apple news out of anything!

Our fine friends in Redmond (disclosure: not fine, not friends) are back spreading what they spread best. Joy? Jam? Nope: manure, of course. Dan Lyons then tells us exactly why everything he wrote was eye-pokingly bad (no spoilers, read on for the exciting reveal!) and last, but possibly least, CNN shows us how to sift bad Apple news out of anything!

Still running the same playbook

You guys are not going to believe this, but ... a Microsoft executive is talking smack about Apple.

What is this, 1995?

Reality, meanwhile, is trashing Windows Phone.

"With Apple, I sense a lack of urgency," said Myerson.

Ah! As opposed to how Johnny-on-the-spot Microsoft has been with ... errrr ... ooooohguh.

[Pac Man "game over" sound]

Myerson was repeating contentions by others that Apple has ceded ground, not only in sales, but also in its once-unassailable position as king of cool, to rivals like Samsung.

"Repeating contentions by others." Contentions that are, you know, crap--but contentions nonetheless.

It would certainly explain some of Microsoft's problems of late if it turns out that its executives cannot read simple charts. Apple's market share is steady-to-up and the company increases sales every year.

"With Android ... it's kind of a mess," Myerson said. "Chrome [OS] and Android coming together, Chrome [OS] does not offer the flexibility of Android."

Whoa, OK, the Macalope's not exactly the biggest defender of Android, but the FUD being spread here is thick, rich, and highly contaminated with excessive amounts of industrial-grade stupid.

However, when All Things D's Ina Fried asked whether Microsoft would allow Facebook Home--for now an Android-only app that sits between the user and the smartphone's usual home and "lock" screens--on Windows Phone, Myerson dodged the question.

Awww, what happened to Mr. Smack Talk?

The BLAZZARAZZLEFLOOZZLEHOGGLE coming out of Microsoft executives of late is rather extreme. If they're not lashing out at their competitors, they're lashing out at their customers.

One man who seems unconcerned [by rumors that Microsoft's next Xbox will require an "always-on" internet connection], however, is Microsoft Studios creative director Adam Orth, who shared his thoughts with Twitter. "Sorry, I don't get the drama over having an "always on" console," he said, before adding a #dealwithit hashtag.

Isn't it nice when customers can reach out to company executives on social media? And be belittled and castigated by them? The Verge neglected to mention this tidbit:

[BioWare developer Manveer] Heir asked a number of valid questions--like, what if you live in a rural area with spotty Internet access, like Janesville, WI or Blacksburg, VA?

Orth's response: "Why on earth would I live there?"

Get bent, rural Xbox fans! Take up meth or something, losers!

 

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