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The Macalope Weekly: Talk is cheap

The Macalope | April 22, 2013
Our fine friends in Redmond (disclosure: not fine, not friends) are back spreading what they spread best. Joy? Jam? Nope: manure, of course. Dan Lyons then tells us exactly why everything he wrote was eye-pokingly bad (no spoilers, read on for the exciting reveal!) and last, but possibly least, CNN shows us how to sift bad Apple news out of anything!

While trashing competitors and blowing smoke is still job #1 at Microsoft, and shipping compelling products that delight users in a timely fashion is Job #18 or something, mouthing off to customers is apparently a bridge too far. Orth is no longer with the company.

Quick, somebody ask again why Apple doesn't let its employees talk shop!

Haven't you left?

Having now officially left the media business, Dan Lyons (formerly Fake Steve Jobs, formerly funny) takes what we can only hope is his parting shot.


I've spent my entire career in the media business, and now I've bailed out.

[long, sustained applause]

I also had grown less and less enchanted with the kind of work I was doing as a "mainstream" journalist.

You're not the only one. "These relentlessly negative stories about Apple in the face of all contrary evidence practically write themselves! When you throw out any shred of self-respect and respect for your readers, that is!"

And now, dear readers, the money quote:

I've also spent the past few years writing "articles" that were less and less interesting--they were basically just SEO chum thrown out onto the internet in hopes of catching traffic.

So, at long last Lyons admits he was just in it for teenage clicks. That's nice. Must be a great weight off his sunken, hollow chest.

I've watched the editorial department get pushed into ever more unnatural positions to suit the demands of advertisers.

"Get pushed." Hmm. Now, one of the things they teach you in journalism school is to avoid using the passive tense. According to Lyons's Wikipedia entry (which needs updating, by the way), "He was a senior editor at Forbes magazine and a writer at Newsweek. He is currently editor of ReadWrite."

Gosh, it's such a shame the business did that to him, isn't it? The world of online technology writing is such a meat grinder. If only there were some other way to attract traffic like, oh, writing intelligent, thoughtful pieces, maybe targeted at a particular user group or with an innovative angle.


As my friend Kevin Maney, a longtime tech columnist at USA Today who bailed out of mainstream media a few years ago, has written, "Traditional media is increasingly a bad place for a good journalist to work."

Partly because of people like Dan Lyons.

Well, Dan, don't let the door ...

Actually, you know what? Go ahead and let the door hit you on the way out. You deserve it.


Remember, kids, if you get into punditry you have only one job: Determine how any given event is bad for Apple.


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